Pan was one of those movies. You know the ones? The ones that are so bad they are almost good? Yeah, that was Pan. Unfortunately, I don't see it becoming a cult classic like so many other movies that fit in that category. Still, I got at least some enjoyment out of the movie, and great enjoyment out of mocking it later.
Several things combine to make this a bad movie. First, the actor playing Hook (Garrett Hedlund) was terrible. He screamed all his lines, and completely over-acted the entire thing. He had some terrible lines, such as his introduction in the movie, "I don't care about you and I don't have your back." But even when the writing is not to blame, he just can't act naturally. I felt like I was watching a middle school performance or something.
Also, Captain James Hook is supposed to be the very essence of a pirate. Exactly what you think of when you think "pirate." So why did this movie disguise him as a cowboy?
Then there was the fact that the whole story made no sense. I mean, there's a prophesy that a flying kid is going to come and lead the rebellion against Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman), so when Blackbeard has a flying kid unconscious in a territory he rules with an iron fist, instead of putting a bullet to his brain, he nourishes him back to health, and then tells him the prophesy, setting in motion the rebellion.
This continues from beginning to end, when Peter (Levi Miller) rescues all the lost boys and returns them to an orphanage, and then re-kidnaps them in the middle of the night. Why return them to the orphanage at all? Why not just take them to Lost Boy land straight from the mines?
Where they really lost me, however, was when the ship landed in neverland. The movie takes place in the 1940s in war-torn England. However, when they get to Neverland, everyone sings Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit in a kind of dirgey voice. The newly arrived boys from 1945 know the words and are able to sing along. I don't mind some slight anachronisms, but this was just too much for me.
All told, this movie was bad. It was terrible. It was so bad it was almost good, but it fell short of that, too. C-.
