Star Wars The Force Awakens

Spoiler Alert: This Review Discusses the movie. 

In the newest addition to the Star Wars universe, we start out with an action scene, and action scenes continue throughout the movie, never letting down. We have stormtroopers and blasters, and fights between ships, and lightsaber battles. The movie takes us from one gripping moment to the next. We have force sensitive characters from Han Solo to Raye to Kylo Ren, able to do the impossible with their minds. We have mind reading, and force chokes. Overall it was quite well done, and worth the wait. 

Throughout the movie the graphics were amazing. Things we could only dream of in the 70s and 80s were a reality. Once again, in keeping with the Star Wars universe, things were epically huge. In one scene, a battle cruiser eclipses a planet, and continues moving as though that were normal. When Han and Chewie find the Millenium Falcon, the ship they were in is so huge it just swallows it hole. Things are just big in Star Wars, and this followed the pattern. 

Fin seems to be following Han's role as the reluctant hero. He spends most of the movie trying to escape, but in the end comes through for his friend when she's in trouble. At least they made him about something other than money, but his story is still familiar. Although the movie largely focused on him, I think the focus for the series is going to be on Raye. This makes me happy because she's a strong central female character.

We're supposed to know that Vader is redeemed because he doesn't kill his son. In a play on that, Ren does kill his father, and seems not to care at all. So now we have a truly evil guy in the movies, but the evil isn't as finessed as it previously was. The lightsaber seems to burn like fire rather than a laser. However he does seem to have a skill no previous character has shown - the ability to read minds. 

Overall I'd give it an A. 

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

This movie started out with a lot more action than the previous one did. We start out rescuing Han from Jabba the Hut, in a plan that clearly relied more on luck than skill. After they all nearly die, we move into a plan to destroy the Death Star Part II. That's right, the Empire built another Death Star, and it didn't bankrupt the galaxy. Which begs willing suspension of disbelief. Apparently the Empire learned something last time, and the shields are external on a moon. This leads to the question of how they are ever going to move the thing if they need to use it, but, clearly the rebel forces needed to be divided in half, so, external power for the shields it is.

So, Darth Vader learns he has a son and 2 years later he saves his life from the emperor, thus somehow negating all the evil things he has done and turning him into a good guy, good enough that he becomes a light-side ghost with Obi-Wan and Yoda, and gets to return to his old body. I don't buy it at all. He's killed far too many people for one action to redeem the character.

This movie had more fun than the previous ones, bringing in Ewoks to hilariously take on the empire's finest with sticks and clubs. So it was a little lighter toned, and I enjoyed that take. It also featured Leia in a slave girl costume killing Jabba the Hut, which I appreciated because I'd kill anyone who made me dress like that, too.

Overall I give it an A+ and I think this was my favorite of the 6 Star Wars movies we've seen to date.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

This is the second installment of the Star Wars series. We start out on an ice planet, where Luke has managed to get captured by a yeti. He proves his faith in the force is strong by getting his lightsaber out of the snow to get himself down from the first of many times Luke is upside down in this episode. Then Han proves himself loyal once again by going to find Luke and saving his life. The show took a while to start going, in other words. 

There are fewer action scenes, but there are a few including one where Luke figures out he has to trip a robot that is shooting at his allies. Then Luke steals the rebellion's ship, and takes off to find Yoda. He finds Yoda, but is a complete jerk to him. Although, lets give R2D2 the real jerk points in this scene. He knows Yoda, but chooses not to say anything to Luke when they find him. So R2D2 lets Luke make a fool of himself, like a jerk. But Luke makes a fool of himself and Yoda tries to refuse to teach him. Ben comes back as a ghost, and convinces Yoda to train Luke, something which they both must regret when Luke takes off at the end of the movie to find his friends instead of finishing his training. 

In the Big Reveal, we learn that Darth Vader (which literally means Darth Father in German) is Luke's father. Luke screams, then loses his hand in a fight with Vader.  Vader has many opportunities where he could kill Luke, because Luke is still not good with a lightsaber. But instead he allows him to live and merely disarms him (literally). Vader just found out he is a father, and he wants to give his son the empire to control, but his son doesn't want it. Father of the year material here. 

Overall I give it an A. 

Peanuts

My husband and I went to see the Peanuts movie tonight. He has a lot of nostalgia about it, but I really don't. I watched one of the movies as a kid, but not the regular cartoon, and I wasn't really into it. The Peanuts movie had stuff for both of us, and was really good. 

For me, I saw a lot of myself in the Charlie Brown character - always trying to do good things and always having them turned on their heads. And no, I can't fly a kite. I found the movie touching and funny in about the right combinations. Lucy reminded me of many of the kids I grew up with, except that I was fortunate enough that by high school most of them had forgotten about me. She gives Charlie perfect advice, and then tells him he'll never be good enough to follow it, insulting him the whole time. 

My husband complained that the movie was a little too long. It came in at only 88 minutes, so I'm not sure how much shorter they could have made it and still called it a full length movie. I admit that it did feel like more than 88 minutes to me, too. I estimated 100 minutes after looking at my watch, but that must have included the time for the new Ice Age short at the beginning. 

Speaking of the Ice Age short, can I tell you how fed up I am with Ice Age shorts? How much attention can people give to a rat that wants an acorn? It's old and tired. I hated it the first time I saw it and nothing has changed that opinion. It also put me into a bad mood as the movie I actually wanted to see began and almost ruined the whole thing. Fortunately the first of many scenes that reminded me of my life (Charlie Brown knocking over a fence when everyone is trying to see the new girl) came quickly and I was able to refocus on the present movie. 

For a 50 year old cartoon, these characters really pinpoint childhood still. I guess the more things change the more they stay the same. Nothing seemed out of place either for life growing up or for the show. 

Overall I give it a B+

Star Wars : A New Hope

Here we have the story of Luke Skywalker as he meets Obi Wan Kenobi and Leia as well as C3PO and R2D2, and becomes a Jedi - the last of the Jedi. They have an adventure on the Death Star before escaping to the rebel hideout, a feat which is a lot less impressive when you realize they were allowed to escape so they could be followed, as evidenced by a conversation in which one character says to Vader "I'm taking a huge risk here. You'd better be right." And then the Death Star appears right at the rebel base. So basically the first 3/4ths of the movie they didn't do anything really impressive. They just shot at guards who weren't shooting to kill, and Obi Wan committed suicide by Vader.

After Obi Wan's suicide, I think the movie really ignores a vital fact, which is that it is disturbing as hell to suddenly have voices in your head. I mean, as a schizophrenic, I would know. And the very first thing I thought when Obi Wan says "use the force, Luke," to this guy who could hardly fight a droid a minute ago was "HOLY SHIT THERE ARE VOICES IN HIS HEAD AND NOW HE'S GOING TO FREAK OUT!!!!" because in any realistic universe, that's exactly what would have happened in this moment.

So I guess we assume that being a jedi is going to protect Luke's mind from the voice of his dead friend. Or something. And Luke puts his targeting gear away and fires using the force for the first time to destroy the Death Star. This is the first time in the movie something happened that wasn't what the bad guys wanted or expected.

The graphics were amazing for 1977 and still stand up to be considered good today. When you look at the opening scene you are immediately wowed by the size of the ships, and the power obviously belonging to the empire. The Stormtroopers were impressive, and Vader's imposing size and presence on the screen lets you know immediately that this is the bad guy. Although he's only on the screen for 17 minutes, he stays with you throughout the movie. This is how you create a bad guy.

Overall I'll give it a A-, and I look forward to seeing the rest of the series before episode 7 comes out next month.

Pan

Pan was one of those movies. You know the ones? The ones that are so bad they are almost good? Yeah, that was Pan. Unfortunately, I don't see it becoming a cult classic like so many other movies that fit in that category. Still, I got at least some enjoyment out of the movie, and great enjoyment out of mocking it later. 

Several things combine to make this a bad movie. First, the actor playing Hook (Garrett Hedlund) was terrible. He screamed all his lines, and completely over-acted the entire thing. He had some terrible lines, such as his introduction in the movie, "I don't care about you and I don't have your back." But even when the writing is not to blame, he just can't act naturally. I felt like I was watching a middle school performance or something. 

Also, Captain James Hook is supposed to be the very essence of a pirate. Exactly what you think of when you think "pirate." So why did this movie disguise him as a cowboy? 

Then there was the fact that the whole story made no sense. I mean, there's a prophesy that a flying kid is going to come and lead the rebellion against Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman), so when Blackbeard has a flying kid unconscious in a territory he rules with an iron fist, instead of putting a bullet to his brain, he nourishes him back to health, and then tells him the prophesy, setting in motion the rebellion. 

This continues from beginning to end, when Peter (Levi Miller) rescues all the lost boys and returns them to an orphanage, and then re-kidnaps them in the middle of the night. Why return them to the orphanage at all? Why not just take them to Lost Boy land straight from the mines? 

Where they really lost me, however, was when the ship landed in neverland. The movie takes place in the 1940s in war-torn England. However, when they get to Neverland, everyone sings Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit in a kind of dirgey voice. The newly arrived boys from 1945 know the words and are able to sing along. I don't mind some slight anachronisms, but this was just too much for me. 

All told, this movie was bad. It was terrible. It was so bad it was almost good, but it fell short of that, too. C-. 

Fantastic 4

Unlike many geeks, I've really enjoyed the X-Men movies, put out by Fox. Therefore, I wasn't expecting Fantastic 4 to be terrible. I wasn't going to see it opening night, but my husband really wanted to go, so we went. You guys, this was the first time I've ever seen an audience actively booing at the end of the movie. Now admittedly, the booing might have had more to do with the fact that there was no stinger at the end of a comic book movie, since we all waited through all of the credits for one. But still, if people had enjoyed the movie I don't think they'd boo it that soon afterwards.

Through most of the film I was bored. I mean, origin stories, right? It was just these kids building something, and there was no suspense because you knew the thing had to work for them to get their powers. Building this thing took up literally 1/2 of the movie. Then they build it, and an accident gives them powers, and they spend the next 1/3rd of the movie either running from the government or working for the government. Finally, the writers realized we might like to see the team fight and become a team, so that comes out of nowhere.

Now let me take a moment and be a geek on you, but, this is Dr Doom's costume:

This really doesn't do justice to how bad it was. I mean by the time he showed up it was torn to shreds and looked like it was barely sticking to him. For those who don't know, this is Dr Doom in the comic books:

Kind of bad-ass right? 

I don't understand why Fox decided to get rid of pretty much the one awesome thing about this franchise. Then, I guess because they needed some kind of drama, Ben (Jamie Bell) blames Reed (Miles Teller) for his having become ugly. This never happens in the comic books. Ben always accepts his own responsibility for what happened to him, even though Reed blames himself. It was mischaracterizations such as this that really angered my husband, and caused him to hate the movie. 

For myself, I was never a Fantastic 4 fan. I didn't read the comics. The movie did an adequate job of explaining who each of the characters was, even if that was because they were so dramatically changing the story line that they had to do so. But the thing is I wasn't really entertained by the movie. I was bored through most of it. Even the final battle wasn't very exciting. 

Overall I give it a D. 

Terminator Genisys

I was going to skip this movie. My husband wanted to see it, so I reluctantly went. I have not seen any of the previous movies in the series. This is one of those experiences I am very glad to have been wrong about. I loved this movie.

We start out in a post-apocalyptic world in which machines are destroying humans, but there is only one hope left. I started thinking of Days of Future Past at this point, and the comparison isn't too far off. Basically, what happens is that one guy is sent back into the past to protect the mother of the character who provides humanity's salvation. Apparently we're operating under the assumption that while the robot can change history drastically the human will not and will just restore the timeline. The humans in the original timeline, most notably Sarah (Emilia Clarke)  don't agree with this assumption, and believe that they can stop SkyNet from coming online by blowing it up.

In a major plot hole I could drive their stolen school bus through, Kyle (Jai Courtney) just happens to know that some unexplained thing has happened to change the date of Genesys from 1997 to 2017. With very little explanation, the characters change their plan and go to 2017, which, surprise! just happens to be when the SkyNet/Genisys system is supposed to come online in the new timeline.

This movie was really about two things: car chases and explosions. I mean, that's what you really want when you have an action movie, right? This movie provided a chase scene with a school bus, and car accidents when the time traveling bubble arrives. It also provides the right amount of humor to lighten the tension just enough. I'm not saying it was a funny movie but it definitely made me laugh on a few occasions.

The special effects were well done, and not over done, but some of the characters were a little hard to tell apart with face blindness being a factor. Kyle and John (Jason Clarke) look enough alike to be a little confusing.

You did not need a lot of background information to watch and enjoy this movie. Although my husband tells me there were moments that were meant for the fans, the story made sense without having seen any of the 1980s material.

Overall I give it an A.

Jurassic World

Circumstances behind seeing this movie
My husband and I went to the theater on opening night to see this movie. We both knew it wasn't going to be great going in, but it was going to be an excuse to watch dinosaurs, and I have always loved dinosaurs. I watched the original 22 years ago when I was 11, and loved the first one so much that I read and re-read the book several times. So basically I was excited even though I knew it wasn't going to be a great movie
The movie
I went in thinking this movie wasn't going to be great, and I got what I expected. There were blatant attempts to shoe-horn in a reason to care about the characters, such as a conversation between the two kids (Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins) about their parents getting a divorce. I guess they wanted to make it a little tragic or something. It really didn't work, and at no point during the movie did I really care the two kids got eaten by dinosaurs. With regard to other characters, including the aunt, (Bryce Dallas Howard) I was actively cheering the dinosaurs to eat the corporate whore. There was really only one character I didn't want to get eaten, and that was the character, Owen, played by Chris Pratt.
The masterful suspense from the original movie's raptor chase was sadly lacking in this one. It tried to scare you with jump scenes and a chase scene, but it wasn't done nearly as well as the 1993 version. Partially this might have to do with my lack of caring about the characters, but it also had to do with the pacing of the movie, and the fact that the actors were trying too hard to put suspense where there just wasn't any.
The redeeming value in this movie comes from the entertainment of a giant lizard smackdown when a velociraptor and t-rex team up against the genetic mutant that should be more powerful than both of them. The end was predictable as soon as you saw where it was - up against the water with the ledge broken. They attempted to make you jump here, but really it was so predictable that, well, I didn't even jump. As predictable as the end was, it was worth it to see giant dinosaurs beating on each other.
Overall, dinosaurs are cool, and they really made the movie - which is fortunate because the human actors weren't carrying it themselves. But you know what? When they make a sequel, we'll be there on opening night to watch it.
I give it a solid B.
Also, check out this image by Georgia Aquarium having fun with one of the scenes from the movie